I made my NSFW Twitter account in November 2019. I was 6 months out of a 10 year marriage. An amicable separation, and ironically our discussions about sex became much more open and honest after we decided to separate. (smh amirite)
Ten years of disappointing vanilla sex suddenly seemed to make sense as the more we talked, the desire to be far more dominant appeared inside me. But I was clueless, I guess google would be my guide.
I had been an active Twitter user for years, on an account linked to business/personal brand activities, I had browsed some 'dirty' accounts in the past, but suddenly I was aware of this small corner of the twitterverse, NSFW Twitter. Seemed groovy I guess
So I made a new account. Fuck that was an intimidating first night. Should I follow these people? Should I make one of these intro posts? What are all these damn hashtags? I want to follow these people, but don't wanna look creepy. I want to like these posts, but don't want to look creepy, I wouldn't mind chatting to these people in DMs BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOOK FUCKING CREEPY!
Thankfully, some very nice folk came and said 'Hi' in my DMs. One of those people talked with me all night long and has remained one of my best friends to this day. (More on that later)
NSFW Twitter introduced me to many new things. BDSM, D/s and DD/lg especially piqued my interest. Appealing to my dominant side, but also my soft nurturing side. The complexities of BDSM in general were something I had been ignorant of previously.
I quickly learned to separate the wheat from the weeds, and identify the bullshit on my timeline. It was hard at times to ignore the 'ultra macho, massive schlong wielding, veiny handed "I'm gonna choke you until you pass out"' kind of posts.
Those posts sometimes made me feel inadequate. It took me a while to truly embrace who I am, and not compare myself to others. As I grew in confidence and started posting more, the kind responses and good advice I received made the whole experience even better.
I've learned a lot there. I've been naive, and stupid at times. I've discovered things about myself that I love, and learned to appreciate at least parts of who I am. I've discovered a desire to be a better version of myself. I've unfortunately hurt some people through my naivety and stupidity, and I've been hurt by others in various ways.
One of the most precious parts of myself that I have rediscovered here, is the writer inside. My words are clumsy and unrefined, but the ability to express myself through my stories is invaluable to me. And my awkward rhymes when I try my hand at poetry make me chuckle.
The positive responses to my posts are a real source of encouragement to me. And have given me confidence to explore my creativity in other ways. A rare few of you have enjoyed audio stories from me.
I've explored D/s and DD/lg dynamics on here, some of which became real relationships, although brief and unsuccessful. I've let people down and hurt their feelings (unintentionally but still). To those people, Im sorry, truly.
Especially to my 'Day1' friend, I hope we can continue as such. I know it might take some time. I'm imperfect, but always trying to be better. 33 and still finding out who I am. I've been used and played for a fool at times, and that's OK, it happens to all of us. As one of my favourite Musical characters would say "You knock me down I get the FUCK back up again".
The most important thing I have to say is, I have met some true friends in this corner of the internet, and watched from a distance and learned from some of you much more experienced people. I am truly grateful for this community of KINKY motherfuckers, Stay Safe, Stay Happy, oh and MINORS and FAKE DOMS...GTFO